


Distraction

by LauraAnneB



Series: The Jenny and The Ox AU [3]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/F, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-02
Updated: 2019-09-02
Packaged: 2020-10-05 22:30:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20496374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LauraAnneB/pseuds/LauraAnneB
Summary: Sera starts a snowball fight and gets closer to her lover. That’s it, that’s the fic. A Jenny and the Ox AU. For the 2019 DA Prompt Fill-a-Thon.





	Distraction

Sera’s breath mingles with Adder’s during their early morning kisses, little puffs of white streaming over their faces. Time to get out of frigging freezing Emprise du Lion. It took the Inquisition forever to capture that bloody keep. At least they’re on the road back home now.

(Skyhold. She means to think Skyhold, not home. Stupid, to think of some giant fancy castle as a home. People like Sera don’t have homes like that.)

Her lover’s been treating her proper, so they’ve already come a few times this morning. Sera’s a little achey, in fact, as they lie side by side with their legs entwined.

“Mmm, let’s just stay in this tent today.” Adder kisses her lips softly. Her orange eyes are dark, her pupils wide. “Let’s never leave.”

“I told you—we’ll spend a few days in bed back in Skyhold where it’s warm!”

“It’s warm in here.” Adder brings her lips to Sera’s ear to whisper, “Isn’t it?” She follows that with a nip, and Sera’s legs open without thinking. Why not? Fourth time could be fun. She’s had a lot of fourths and fifths and sixths and who-keeps-counts lately. Ever since Addie raised that flag over the Inquisition’s new keep.

“Is it seeing that flag flapping that gets you wet?” Sera asks.

Adder’s hand pauses halfway up Sera’s inner thigh. “Huh?”

“After we killed that demon baddie and conquered that keep?” There was that man with red crystals growing out of him, trying desperately to talk. Sera wrinkles her nose. Why does everything they do have to be so awful? Why isn’t there a Pet the Puppies mission on the war table?

“Um, no.” Adder removes her hand from Sera’s thigh. “It’s the sexy woman in my bedroll that gets me wet.” She’s not smiling. “Usually.”

“Wait, you’re not mad, are you?”

“Just not up for another round anymore. I’m going to get ready.”

Sera waits hopefully for her to change her mind. The itch is deep inside now. But Adder isn’t looking at her as she pulls up her underpants and laces up her breeches. Huffing in frustration, Sera does the same.

_Good frigging job, Sera. Say the first stupid thing that pops into your head._

They put on hats, gloves and scarves. As Adder cut her horns off ages ago (sad story, that, one Sera hates thinking about), she can wear a hat, and the cold’s so bad she does.

Out of consideration for all the sad, single sods in the gang, Adder and Sera are a little ways off from the group, where they can make noise without making anyone jealous (or, as Cass explained, waking anyone up). Everyone else’s tents are already struck. A kettle and a cooking pot are hanging over the fire. The crew’s chowing down.

“Hey, Sera, boss,” Bull says. “Thought we might have to leave without you.”

Sera shrugs. “Eatin’ muff’s nice, but can’t live off it.”

Bull and Beardy chuckle; Dorian (who’s standing right next to Bull, now that everyone knows about them) sighs; Cassandra makes a disgusted noise; Vivienne curls her lip; and Solas shoots her an annoyed look.

“Sera, we talked about making our companions comfortable,” Adder says lightly.

“We didn’t shag with the tent flap open, now did we?” Sera grabs a bowl, ladles some oatmeal in and starts gulping it down.

“This time,” Adder adds, before anyone else can. She shrugs helplessly. “Again, sorry about that, all.”

“Some of us had successfully forgotten until you mentioned it, darling,” Vivienne said coolly.

Varric’s bothering Sera. He’s not looking at anyone, all trapped in his head. There’s loads of red lyrium in Emprise. Sure, they’ve destroyed a few of the larger crystals here and there, but there’s too many for even the Inquisition to deal with right now. So he just broods like he always does when he sees too much of the red shite.

She should do something about that. The thought flashes: snow. What else is there to distract somebody? It’s the only bloody thing around here, other than a few pine trees. And the horses, but there’s not much she can do with them if her goal is to get out of here.

Sera wanders her way back to her and Addie’s tent, which happens to be behind Varric. Adder raises her eyebrows—setting up and striking the tent is her job, and Sera’s job is to reward her. She knows something’s up.

Scraping up her last scraps of oatmeal, Sera stops, leaning down like she dropped something, and fills the bowl with snow. A plan is forming. It’ll be an epic plan. Or a stupid waste of time. Not going to know until she tries, is she?

She glances over her shoulder at the campfire. No one’s watching her now. Only Adder saw her fill up the bowl.

‘Can I help?’ Adder mouths. The tent’s on the ground now, half rolled up.

Sera thinks, then mimes making multiple snowballs. It’ll be good to have a stockpile.

Adder nods. She crouches down and turns around. If anyone’s watching, they might see that her motions are more ‘making snowballs’ than ‘rolling up the rest of the tent,’ but who bothers to watch someone roll up a tent?

Sera saunters casually back toward the campfire, directly behind Varric.

She dumps the bowl of snow on his head.

He jerks his head back, wiping snow from his head and beneath his collar. “Sera!”

“Snowball fight!” she declares.

Everyone else stares at her with grumpy, unimpressed morning faces. No help from these bastards. Time to focus just on Varric, then.

“C’mon, try to get me back, you! You only good aiming with that Bianca of yours, weirdy? Oh, wait, not even. Shit with real Bianca, shit with crossbow Bianca, shit at…at bein’ tall.”

Varric gives his first smile in what feels like weeks. It’s small and brittle, but it’s there. “Mouthy, aren’t you?”

Sera crouches down and makes a snowball. “I’m the Inquisitor’s lover. Made me mad with power, it has. Put me in my place, if you can!”

“A little exercise might warm those muscles and make riding easier,” Blackwall comments. “Isn’t that what you were complaining about all last night, Varric?”

“That was the night before,” Cole says helpfully. “Last night, he complained about the cold.”

On principle, Sera chucks her snowball Cole’s way. The snowball hits his—no, its, Cole isn’t human—hat. Sure, Cole hasn’t read anyone’s mind today, but you never knew when that mad spirit thing was going to start. “That’s a warning, you.”

She turns back to Varric only to meet a handful of snow. She squawks and splutters, scrambling backward, scooping up more snow as she does.

“Leave the kid alone,” Varric says, now on his feet. “He’s trying.” He’s already got another snowball.

“Never seems to try too hard,” she grumbles.

Varric’s response is flinging a snowball at her head. She just manages to duck it.

She doesn’t even see the massive one that hits her from the side. She whirls to see Bull making another one.

“He has been,” Bull says mildly. “Maybe you just haven’t noticed.”

She whips a snowball at him—it sails to his right. She tries to keep an eye on both him and Varric.

Her gaze flicks to Blackwall. _Beardy_, she tries to tell him with her mind, _help!_

“Don’t try it, Blackwall,” Bull warns.

_Oh, right. Benny-Hissad._

“I’m neutral in this conflict,” Blackwall says laughingly, raising his hands.

“I’m not!” Adder declares, whirling and sending snowballs flying at both Bull and Varric. These ones hit.

“Hah!” crows Sera. She scoops some more snow up. She only gets two handfuls before the snow within reach becomes ice. It’s not exactly an Ice Mine spell—those have a lot more glowing—but it’s a low-powered version.

“What?! No fair! Magic’s cheating.”

“I got you, love.” Adder runs in front of her, slipping a little on the newly iced snow, shielding Sera with her huge fit Qunari-ness. Sera passes her one of the two snowballs she was able to make.

Sera leans around her to glare at the mages. “Which ones of you bastards did this?! Confess! C’mon!” She can’t remember who has what power. They can all do a little bit of everything, as far as she remembers, and this spell probably isn’t de-powering them this much.

She glares at Vivienne, the most likely. She loves her ice spells. But Vivienne isn’t participating—she’s shaking her head as she walks toward the horses.

Three snowballs thud against Adder. “Ooof!” she grunts.

Sera’s gaze fixes on Solas, who’s dumping out the cooking pot and the remains of the kettle. But he’s looking at them.

“Solas!” she roars, tossing her snowball overhand at him.

Startled, Solas recoils. Suddenly, the flames of the campfire leap to unnatural height and strength. Her snowball hits the fire, hisses, and melts.

“I’m not part of your little game, Sera,” he grumps grumpily.

“Probably not elfy enough for you.”

“Not _adult _enough.”

Meanwhile, Adder’s stamped through enough of the ice that there’s more snowball material.

As Sera ducks to reload, a snowball hits her right on the butt.

“Hey!” Sera whirls around and faces Varric and Cole, both armed.

Varric holds his hand up to Cole for a high-five. Cole stares blankly at Varric’s hand. Sighing, Varric drops his hand. “Just throw a snowball at her, kid.”

He does. Adder tries to get in between her and the snowball, but she slips—the snow has iced over once more. The snowball smacks Adder’s shoulder.

Adder glares behind her. “Hmm. Dorian, how _Tevinter_ of you to betray me.”

The moustached mage is standing beside Bull, smiling smugly.

“He’s defending the man he loves,” Bull says cheerfully, ruffling Dorian’s hair.

“And suddenly regretting all the choices that led me here.” Dorian smacks Bull’s hand away and starts finger-combing his hair back into place.

Adder’s sudden grin is just as intense as her glare was. “Aw, you guys. Should we have a double date sometime?”

Two snowballs hit Sera’s back. Right, Varric and Cole. Sera starts stamping as hard as she can on the ice. Dorian must’ve froze it harder this time—it’s not breaking easily. She might have to leave her Adder shield and make a break for some better snow.

Bull says, “One of the towns we passed through on the way here had an adorable little tea shop.”

“Adorable tea shop!” Adder repeats, beaming. Sera isn’t sure she loves tea that much, but she does love rolling up to places no one expects a Qunari mercenary to be in. “Yes, please!”

“No,” both Sera and Dorian say at the same time.

Sera can’t help but glance at the mage. Should they stand up for their rights as the partners that hate adorable cute things and destroy those that do?

Bull smacks Dorian’s arm. “Hey, no betraying, Dorian.”

“Argh!” Sera groans. “Frigging Bin-Harseholes.”

“Sera!” Adder gasps, clutching her chest, staring down at her in melodramatic shock. “How could you?”

Slam: snowball from Bull against Adder’s back. Crackle creak: more ice forming around the two of them. Slam, slam, slam: Varric laying into Sera with a vengeance.

Sera grumbles, “Not joining you in a bloody tea shop unless there’s shite I can steal.” To Dorian, she snaps, “Magic’s still frigging cheating!”

“You’re right,” says Cassandra. “It is.”

The ice vanishes as if it had never been.

“Really, Seeker?” Varric asks, grinning madly.

In reply, Cassandra lobs a snowball at him, forcing him to duck.

Sera whoops with joy as she and Adder start scraping together more ammunition. “Knew you were fun deep down, Cass!”

“It surprised me, too,” the Seeker admits.

Suddenly, Bull and Dorian cry out. Sera whips ‘round. Blackwall has dumped a huge mound of snow on Dorian.

“Dammit,” Bull growls at Blackwall. “Shoulda known to keep my eye on you when you said you were staying out of it.”

“Probably,” Blackwall cheerfully replies. It’s the only time she’s seen him take the ‘Thom Rainier’ thing lightly. Her spirits brighten. She’d started this just to cheer Varric up, but if she can cheer Beardy up, that’s even better.

Sera surveys the scene. Varric, Bull, Cole and Dorian on one side. Sera, Adder, Blackwall and Cassandra on the other. She stands back to back with Adder.

“Kill ‘em all!” she shouts.

The snowballs fly.

* * *

“Thanks for making today fun,” Adder comments. They’re in her tent for the evening. After the snowball fight—they’re still arguing over who won—it was your usual boring ride through the freezing wilderness, not a soul in sight.

“No big, yeah? Just came to me.”

Adder kisses her briefly. Sera begins unbuttoning Adder’s top to get to her tits.

“Actually, I think you had the right idea earlier.” Adder captures her hand gently. Sera could break her hold if she really wants. She’s always so gentle with her huge strength. “Why don’t we wait until Skyhold? Save up some of that energy.”

Sera blinks. “Oh. Sure.” Her stomach churns. After a moment, she says, “You don’t remember what I said about the keep, do you? It’s gone from your memory? ‘Cuz it should be. It was dumb.”

Adder laughs softly. “I think it was pretty smart. You made a good connection. I was using you to distract myself from seeing that damned flag flying over Suledin.

“It’s the third keep I’ve taken. One’s just an accident. But three’s a pattern. Who knows where else the Inquisition’s flag will fly? Pretty soon, I might be taking over places just to see my banners everywhere.”

“You won’t,” Sera says strongly, squeezing Adder’s hand. “That’s not you. You’ve only gone after shit places no one was using.”

“For now.” She’s close enough that Sera feels Adder’s sigh on her face. “So I used you so I didn’t have to face my own demons. Sorry.”

“Can we still use ‘face your own demons’ when we see actual demons every frigging day?” Sera questions. “I say we find a better expression. Anyway, don’t apologize. The shagging’s amazing.”

Adder snickers. “It is.” She rolls onto her back, and Sera snuggles in, putting her head on Adder’s shoulder.

“It scares me a little,” Adder confesses quietly.

“What?” Sera can’t remember a time Adder’s ever looked scared when they were naked together. “The shagging?”

“No. Well, partly. How much I feel for you.”

“You’re being weird,” Sera states. “Doesn’t scare me at all. How it’s supposed to be, isn’t it?” Sure, she’s had a few dreams where Addie’s not there, but those are stupid dreams, and they don’t mean anything no matter if she wakes up crying from them. Stupid dreams are stupid.

“Yeah. You’re right. Goodnight, love.”

“Goodnight.”

**Author's Note:**

> This prompt was: "Sera is determined to start a snowball fight to end all snowball fights. It’s just a matter of setting her friends up to be drawn into battle. After all, no one can resist a good old fashioned snowball war."


End file.
